It would be very easy to recommend to you a book or some speaker or a lecture or sermon as a way to combat the doubts that are in your heart and head. I haven’t been writing to cure you of your doubts, though. You might look back on this time of your life and realize that you needed to ask questions in order to become the kind of person you should be. If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t want to rob you of it.
In my last post of the “Doubting Disciples” series, I want to point out instead what I think you need. It’s not to re-read The Case for Christ. It’s not to memorize a certain verse.
What you need is an encounter with the resurrected Jesus.
He has been what you’ve always needed, doubts or not.
The whole episode on the Emmaus road would never have done for the two disciples what it did had Christ himself had shown up there as a stranger, engaging people and secretly pursuing them. Yes, Jesus taught them things from the Scriptures in those moments, so someone might be inclined to argue that we really do need deeper study into the Bible.
I disagree. Those disciples knew the Scriptures. They’d also been learning from Jesus prior to his execution. And if they got something out of that teaching session in Luke 24, it’s because Jesus was the one who was doing the teaching.
They needed Jesus.
When Jesus disappeared from their dinner table, the two disciples didn’t run back to their friends to talk about the amazing Bible study they just had. They talked about the resurrected Jesus. As well they should. If they had any reason to believe again, it was because of him.
They needed Jesus.
So do I, in my moments when I’m not even sure I want to keep being a Christian. And believe me, those moments hit me more times than I’d like them to. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore. I’m tired of having to justify why some Christians live no differently than anyone else but still feel inclined to believe that they’re going to heaven and the others are going to hell. And lest you think I’m simply judging other believers, you can keep yourself from leaving an upset comment: in many ways, I’m indistinguishable from my non-Christian friends or family members, which makes me much less inclined to inform them that I’ve found some eternal truth that they haven’t.
I need Jesus. In my fragile moments, I need him even as I’m questioning whether I want him anymore.
And you need him, too.
Your search for the validity of the Christian faith is not going to mean much in the end if it doesn’t somehow lead you to Christ. And I have no idea how that journey might go or how long it might last. Abraham waited years before he and his barren wife miraculously conceived; deaf and blind people who asked Jesus for a miracle, meanwhile, were answered right that moment. How God might answer you is really up to Him.
Until then, I hope my previous posts help you on the way. Don’t forget to listen to strangers.