I’m Calling It Now: Rob Bell is an Atheist and His New Book, Which I Have Not Read, Proves It

Rob Bell has a new book coming out titled What We Talk About When We Talk About God. In the spirit of judging a book before I’ve actually had a chance to read it, I’m going to come out and say that Rob Bell is an atheist.

I know, I know, we all thought Rob is a universalist; at least, that’s the conclusion you could reach when you read someone’s review of his last book, Love Wins. His universalism was so obvious that people didn’t even have to read Love Wins before they started accusing its author of heresy. I don’t know if it’s because Christianity’s Self-Appointed Theology Police just has such great powers of discernment or because Rob’s heresy is so blatantly obvious, but either way, you didn’t actually have to know anything about Rob to know that Love Wins was a Satan-spawned attempt to get people to believe that everyone goes to heaven so that everyone can actually go to hell.

In this new book, though, I’m almost certain he’s coming out as an atheist. But how can someone be a universalist and an atheist at the same time, you ask? My answer is: don’t think. These judgments are a lot easier to make when you turn off your brain.

So yeah, Rob is probably, definitely an atheist. And when his book comes out, I’d be more than happy to cherry-pick its contents and provide you with snippets of phrases, taken from various sentences, that Rob doesn’t have the faith that he’s likely to claim, in no uncertain terms, that he possesses.

Oh, and I’ve posted a picture of the cover of Rob’s godless manifesto below. Try not to burn your holy Christian eyes by looking at it for too long.


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