Yup, the Church Actually Had to Say This

Sorry, beer lovers! But immersing someone in a giant pool of your favorite beverage does not count as an actual baptism:

“Since as we have learned from your report, it sometimes happens because of the scarcity of water, that infants of your lands are baptized in beer, we reply to you in the tenor of those prsent that, since it is necessary ‘to be reborn from water and the Holy Spirit’ [John 3:5] they are not to be considered rightly baptized who are baptized in beer.”

(Archbishop of Nidaros; July 8, 1241)

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