What Really Happened to Glenn Beck

You might have heard that Glenn Beck will end his show on Fox in what appears to be a mutual split between himself and his network. That’s exactly what “they” want you to think.

Don’t ask who they are. Deep down in your heart–where you keep your patriotism and your Protestantism–you already know.

Shrouded by darkness and empowered by their secrecy, they are the ones who brainwashed an unsuspecting American majority into voting for president someone who isn’t even an American citizen. Having become bored with overthrowing the government of Egypt and causing trouble in the rest of Not America, they’ve turned their mighty socialist weapons against the one man who would expose them all:

Our dear, dear Glenn.

That’s only a fleeting glimpse of their wickedness.

They eat American flags for breakfast.

They pray toward the National Debt Clock.

They want to make health care affordable. For everyone.

But you might argue that Glenn Beck’s departure from Fox News seems like it was his idea. Dear reader, that’s exactly what they want you to think! Don’t you know that the best conspiracies are the ones that trick you into thinking that a sinister event is seemingly normal?

How many times have we seen this deception play out? You say you haven’t? I say you haven’t been paying attention.

They’ve already silenced the majority of us who were willing to boldly speak from the comfort of our homes and from behind the anonymity of our blogs (so long as we remember to update them). What you’re reading now is the last-ditch plea of those of us who fear that our Founders’ dream–something that wasn’t made in China–may again teeter on the edge of utter destruction.

Now you know the truth.

What will you do now?

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